So, Janet posted the pictures of son #3’s graduation…..and
it was a GREAT event….we had a good time, and my former -in laws made us feel
comfortable across the board. Son
himself starts his first, full time, grown up job with the corporation for whom
he interned, in a few days; starting with a week of training in Dallas.
But, all of that aside, I want to go back to the graduation
itself. We checked into our hotel in
Carrolton, GA….and I am glad I booked THAT months out, because literally every
single hotel room in the county was filled.
I found myself going up in the elevator with a distinguished looking
gentleman, who was pleasant enough but refrained from comment on my “Make
America Great Again” hat. He asked if I
was there for the graduation, I said I was, that I was very proud and excited
for my son, and that he graduation also meant a pay raise for me. He mentioned that he was actually the guest
speaker at the commencement……
……frigging great.
Well, I hadn’t showed my ass TOO badly.
So, the next day we joined the extended and blended family
in the front row, and sure enough, the gentleman in the elevator was the
speaker and he started off by telling the story of meeting a father of a grad
in the elevator.
More greatness.
And then, things took an odd turn. The gentleman announced that he was going to
talk about something that was not typical, but that the graduates should never
let someone change the conversation.
Now, I THOUGHT that he was going to address the fact that, fully half of
the graduates in front of me were being given bullshit degrees in which there
was no actual field of work (and trust me…..I am not kidding, at least half of
the graduates that morning had degrees in literature, cultural studies, fine
arts…….underwater basket weaving….you name it).
But NO! The topic was, believe it
or not; CLIMATE CHANGE.
I almost fell from my chair. My reaction was so obvious that Janet
actually gripped my arm and said “Behave yourself”. My son’s mom even looked at me with a stare
that conveyed “Don’t you dare”.
Imagine my surprise when this multi-millionaire head of a
billion dollar corporation, and a figure on the board of several corporations….NOT
an actual science, said that the science of climate change was 98%
settled. I had always been led to
believe that it was 97% bullshit. I am
not kidding you, this gentleman trotted out ALL of the talking points. My favorite was the armadillo story….and how
the armadillo originated in Latin America, and that, as a child, he NEVER saw
one in that part of Georgia. I am three
years older than him, and I am POSITIVE that I saw those worthless creatures in
Georgia in my youth. Ugly little
shits. Then he went on to discuss how
over 100 MILLION species would become extinct during the graduates lifetime. He started his wrap up by reminding them
that, the carbon energy world was relatively new on the planet….that there was
a time when carbon based energy did not exist, and NOW, FINALLY we have
alternatives that can power societies without fossil fuels.
The entire time the gentleman was speaking, the president
of the university was sitting behind him, nodding like he had just discovered
revealed truth. And I am expecting the
speaker to tie all of this into some great challenge for the candidates. But the conclusion was “Don’t let deniers
change the subject. I look forward to
following you into the 21st century!”
Janet leaned over and asked “Aren’t we IN the 21st
century?”
But there you go…..I mean, four years, thousands of
dollars, and we graduate a class that will be unemployable for years because partying
in the name of “fine arts” is not an actual career. Then we cap it off with a political,
ideological send off (In his defense, the speaker said that climate change was
not a political issue…..a nano-second before he made it one). It is no longer being taught how to think, or
even the truth…..college is about what to think……by non-thinkers.
I was still grousing when I returned to the hotel, and saw
this excellent article.
I understand that I will be one of the few to read this….but
the irony is priceless.
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