This guy damn near "stupided" me to death.

If haven’t found it yet, one of Facebooks’ actual redeeming qualities is a feature called “marketplace”.  It is just that, a feature where you can advertise, with pictures, items to sell, or that you are seeking to buy, or even give away.  You post it, someone in your local area sees it, haggles the price, and makes arrangements to pick it up.

So far, so good…..right?

Not so fast Batman.

Sooommeeee people.

We had a turntable, a BSR (Birmingham Sound Reproducers) model 0991.  Now, I had to research the brand name (actually very successful, dominating the turntable market at one time), since I am not an audiophile.

You got that right…..I AM NOT AN AUDIOPHILE.  I like music, A LOT, though I am usually a few years behind the current sound, but to me, except for an eight track tape, the one delivery method is about the same as the next.  I have VERY few LP’s left, and just gave a 200 CD changer and the CD’s to my brother in law since I stream or listen to Sirius/XM.  Maybe years around Army noises made me deaf enough that I just don’t care.  As a result, a turntable is a turntable is a cassette tape.  So, I researched, found out how much these things went for on eBay, and given the condition, and figuring that it was 30 years old if it was made during the last year of production, I listed it for $25 (they appear to go for almost $100 in some cases).

And sure enough….someone responded.  The first question was….”What size is the cartridge?”  I had included a picture so it was clear that there was no cartridge.  Next question;  “So the needle is in the head, on the end of the arm?”  I mentioned I had posted a picture, right?  And where else IS the needle on an turntable?  Next question; “  Does  it work?  What are the outputs?”  I made a video of the turntable turning and took a picture of the lines running from the turntable.

All day.  This exchange took all day.

Then, yesterday, the platter master returned, “I am finding myself more and more interested in this turn table……” followed by a few more questions.”

So……at this point, I had about had enough, and replied “Sorry_________, you outlasted me.  It should have been clear from the start that I am not an audiophile, and that I certainly don’t know one turn table from the next.  And for $25 I am not spending the time to learn.  I am giving it to charity.”

Now…..YOU WOULD THINK that most people would have thought “Well, THAT dude was rude.”  But NO!  Not Wolfman Jack.  He actually responds with a note that starts “In the future, if you have any more turntables to sell (what am I?  Frigging Radio Shack?)…….” Followed by a litany of things to look for in a turn table.  Information that I will NEVER use or need because I do not plan on being in the turntable market on the post Beatles era.  But, it was apparently critical to him that I KNEW that HE KNEW his turntable shit.  It was ESSENTIAL that he had the last word.

So, you know what I did?  I checked his profile and thought “Yep, he looks like a dick”…..so I let him have the last word…….right after I erased the conversation and blocked further IM’s from him.

I don’t get some people….as a matter of fact, I do not get MOST people.   If turntables are your thing (or ANYTHING is your thing), and for $25 dollars (which would have inevitably ended up at $15, because these things normally do.  Add in to that the fact that I am not going to use it….I might have just given the thing away if someone had made the case), wouldn’t you just have made the 20 mile drive to check it out?

My wife and I have given tons of stuff to charity, starting when we as two self sufficient grownups mixed everything through the marriage.  We outfitted one of the three kids with everything he needed to start out on his own, we have given things to friends and friends in need.  We sell very little because my wife breaks out in hives at the idea of a garage sale…..but we know the deal…..someone negotiates asking price down as far as possible, knowing that the owners do not want to take that crap back home….but it is not new crap.  What I don’t expect to have happen is some guy dragging out negotiations for three days over $25……

…..and a lecture…..I don’t expect a lecture.

SO, if you want a turntable, I have one.  And the price is right.

You can have it for free.